What if some of the smallest words we use are quietly shaping the way we see ourselves—and the way we live our lives?
Should.
Just.
I’m sorry.
They seem harmless. Most of us probably say them every day without giving them much thought. Until we start listening.
In this solo episode of Hope Comes to Visit, I’m looking at the language we use with ourselves—and what it might reveal about where we’re still comparing, minimizing, postponing happiness, apologizing for taking up space, or looking outside ourselves for permission.
The idea hit me in real time.
While thinking about everything I want to accomplish in my business, I heard myself say:“I should probably start posting on Instagram every single morning.” And there it was. Should. An idea that could have been interesting, useful—or completely unnecessary—had suddenly become an obligation. And underneath “I should” was another question: Why aren’t I? Maybe even: What’s wrong with me if I’m not?
That sent me down a rabbit hole about a few other words I’ve been paying attention to.
There’s the “just” that makes us smaller: I’m just checking in. I’m just getting started.
I’m just a mom. It’s just something I’ve been working on.
And then there’s another kind of just: If I can just make it to the weekend…
If I can just lose ten pounds… If I can just get the degree… If I can just get the job…
If I can just get married, have the baby, get through this season, get sober, get unstuck…
Then.
Then I’ll relax. Then I’ll feel successful. Then I’ll be happy. Then my life can really begin.
Except the finish line keeps moving. And meanwhile, we risk treating the life we’re actually living as though it’s the waiting room for the life that’s going to count.
As I say in this episode: “I don’t want to make today the price I pay to get to tomorrow.”
We also talk about “I’m sorry”—and why I’ve worked to replace unnecessary apologies with something very different: thank you. Instead of: I’m sorry it took me so long to respond – Try: Thank you for being patient with me. Instead of: I’m sorry I’m emotional.
Maybe: Thank you for listening.
Because there are absolutely times when “I’m sorry” matters. And when it does, I want those words to mean something.
Finally, I come back to a philosophy that changed my life years ago after hearing entrepreneur Laura Fitton reference Derek Sivers’ idea: If it’s not a hell yeah, it’s a no.
It doesn’t mean every responsibility in life needs to excite us. Taxes and dentist appointments aren’t exactly hell-yeah material. It’s about the things we do get to choose—the invitations, projects, commitments, opportunities and relationships occupying space in our lives.
Maybe these little words are clues.
Should can point toward expectation.
Just can reveal where we’re minimizing ourselves—or postponing our lives.
I’m sorry can reveal where we’re apologizing simply for having needs, feelings or boundaries.
And asking “Is this my hell yeah?” brings the decision back home. From external permission to internal authority. From performing to choosing. From asking:
“Am I doing this right?” to: “Is this right for me?”
The goal isn’t to police our vocabulary, but rather to simply notice.
Because sometimes hope comes to visit when we start listening to our own voice again.
A QUESTION FOR YOU
This week, notice when should, just, or I’m sorry show up in your language.
Don’t judge it. Don’t make changing it another thing you should do.
Just notice. What might that word be telling you?
I’m so grateful you spent this time with us today.
If Hope Comes to Visit has become a bright spot in your week, I’d love for you to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube, or wherever you listen so you never miss an episode.
And if this conversation resonated with you, sharing it with a friend, leaving a review, or simply telling someone about the show helps more than you know.
Until next time, take good care of yourself. And remember—your story matters.
New episodes drop every Monday, so you can begin your week with a little light and a lot of hope.
For more stories, reflections, and ways to connect, visit www.DanielleElliottSmith.com or follow along on Instagram @daniellesmithtv and @HopeComestoVisit
xo, Danielle
